‘Love Is Blind’s Raven on her hopes of marrying SK and Bartise’s ‘Smokeshow’ comment: ‘Throw away the whole man’

SPOILER WARNING: This post contains spoilers for the Love Is Blind season 3 reunion episode, out now on Netflix.

Raven Ross’ wedding to SK Alagbada in Season 3 of Love Is Blind didn’t work out. Alagbada shocked his fiancée by rejecting her at the altar – a decision Ross recounts diversity she didn’t see it coming.

While Ross formed a bond with Bartise Bowden in the pods, she eventually accepted Alagbada’s proposal. The couple faced some bumps in the road during their trip, largely due to Alagbada’s revelation that he was moving to California for grad school.

While the wedding left her in tears, Ross still got her happy ending when she and Alagbada revealed they are back together during the season’s reunion episode.

In conversation with diversityRoss opens up about their rekindled romance, the public reaction to her appearance on the show, and that moment when Bowden called her a “smoke show” in front of her fiancé, Nancy Rodriguez.

Do you think it was fair for SK to sign up for this experience knowing he would be moving to California so soon?

It’s so funny now – looking back I was just trying to be as open minded. I knew our connection was so strong so let’s just find out and take it day by day. Regardless of where we are geographically, I wouldn’t want to live without this person. It’s so funny to look back on now that I know SK so much better: it’s totally an SK thing. He just didn’t realize it and just said, “I’m going to go on this show! Oh right, I have grad school too!” Of course it wasn’t ideal, but it became part of our story. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Walk me through the first conversation you had with SK after the wedding.

After the wedding, he got in touch and said, “I’m sorry. I hope we can rebuild things and continue our connection in the same way.” I said, “Yes, you must apologize, sir!” Fortunately, after a few days, we were mentally in the same place: “Okay, me don’t want to lose that person. So how are we progressing?”

Before the wedding, did you have any inkling that he would say no?

I knew it could go either way. I just felt very in limbo because I was so confident. I really tried to hope for the best. Of course I was super emotional. We hadn’t talked about, “What are you going to say?” We had talked about, “No matter what, I see a life with you. I see us growing That always has to be in the foreground, no matter what happens that day.”

We found out at the reunion that you guys are back together. How did your families take the news?

We visited my family. I’m originally from New Orleans, so we went to New Orleans. My family came to Dallas. We stayed at my house. We have done everything. We often visited his family in Austin. We’ve all made those connections, and he feels a lot better about it. My mother just loves him very much.

Have you thought about the possibility of another marriage with SK?

Yes. We’ve only spoken about it once or twice because neither of us is capable of planning a wedding right away. I said it wasn’t at least two years ago. I have to shake that off first! I have to make everyone forget that!

And the next one you walk in and you know his answer!

Right? This time I have to write it on paper and I have to record it so I know exactly what I’m getting!

How did you react to the scene when Bartise tells Nancy he thinks you’re a smoke show?

Oh dear God. SK and I saw it together for the first time. We both thought, “What’s going on?” Of course, we had no idea. I just feel so bad for Nancy because you can see on her face she’s like, ‘Is this really happening? Are we in another universe?” It was just crazy to see. Of course, yes, I’m flattered, but can you at least just stand by your wife? It’s flinching.

Have you and Nancy spoken beyond what we saw on the show?

Nancy and I talked a lot. I don’t know exactly what that moment was like, but I’m sure it was difficult for her. It was hard for me to watch. Your journey has been so tough. I let them know that I am there for them. Throw away the whole man. I’m Nancy’s biggest fan.

The women really seemed to support each other this season.

Oh my god I couldn’t have asked to do this with a better group of women. We’re all literally best friends. We do everything together. I’m so glad I got through this with best friends. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

How did you handle the public reaction to you on the show?

It was definitely challenging at first because I had an arc on the show. It started really bad for me! But it was so interesting. I’m already a very community oriented person – I just love connecting with people, especially other women, cheering each other on. I’ve really focused on that positive part of it and I’m so happy that I can now share positive things with more people. So I definitely tried to lean on the bright side because the internet is literally insane. It has also helped me feel more comfortable sharing and making fun of myself. There are all these funny, scary moments of mine on the show. I just love to laugh about it with other people. So that was really fun. I’m trying to look on the bright side, baby!

This interview has been edited and abridged.