ASK AMY: Wonderful Guy might not be a good match

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Dear Amy: I’ve been with a man for seven months. He is absolutely wonderful. We even talk about marriage, only we don’t agree on politics. This was made even clearer by the US Supreme Court’s recent ruling in the Dobbs case.

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We have opted for a “We have different points of view, but we support” rule.

Yesterday I hesitantly asked the question: “Are you vaccinated against COVID?”

I was almost afraid to hear his answer because I knew what it would be and sure enough – he wasn’t vaccinated.

It’s entirely my fault for not having this conversation earlier in the relationship because I have lupus and am on multiple immunosuppressive medications.

With the latest COVID variant being so contagious, I am very concerned that he would end up catching the virus and then I would get him because we spend so much time together.

When I asked him if he would vaccinate for me, he said “no” and gave me a long list of political reasons for doing so.

How do I explain how important this is to my health?

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I have five children (all under the age of 18) from my previous marriage.

Due to my health problems, I am already worried about leaving my children behind too early in the worst case.

Should I just throw away a relationship that finally makes me happy? Should I end it because of political differences?

– Vulnerable

Dear vulnerable: You can see that this topic is kind of political, but you are the person with lupus and five children.

You’re the person who’s already worried about your life being cut short by your autoimmune disease.

So it’s not about politics. This is about science, safety and health.

This man’s vaccination could benefit him, his colleagues, neighbors and family members. He’s already decided he’s not ready for this.

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Of course he will not be vaccinated for you!

If he cared about your health, he would do anything to protect your health.

My question is: why don’t you take care of your health more?

You have a serious chronic illness. You are medically vulnerable.

You also have five children that you need.

Yes – as you rightly point out, this is up to you. It’s hard to understand how or why you would start a new relationship during a global pandemic without asking about a potential partner’s vaccination status before meeting.

It’s an unfortunate situation, but your husband has already made a choice. He’s fine.

Now it’s your turn.

Dear Amy: I’ve been friends with “Charlotte” for 35 years.

Since we were both widowed, nine years ago we agreed to rent an apartment together.

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It was wonderful at first, but slowly but surely she began to criticize and correct me, especially in front of my children and friends.

I’ve repeatedly told her how I feel about it, but then she says I’m a kid and overreacting.

How do I get them to stop? This has affected our friendship to the point where I can no longer stand being around her in social situations.

She even did this in front of my clients.

At the start of tax season we both work in the same office. In January I’ll be moving to another office location, which is a relief.

Is that a sign of senility or is she a bully?

– Fed up

Dear Fed Up: This behavior could be a sign of senility, especially if you have asked “Charlotte” not to belittle and correct you and she continues to do so.

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Aside from telling her how it makes you feel, don’t report that you actually asked her to stop.

It might be time for both of you to have some serious heart-to-heart talk.

I’m talking about a meeting around the kitchen table where you review your housing arrangement to see if it’s still viable.

Charlotte’s continued criticism of you may indicate that she has grown unhappy with being your roommate. You are obviously unhappy.

If you decide to stay as a roommate, you should tell Charlotte that you expect her not to criticize you in front of others in the future, and if she insists, you will publicly remind her to stop.

Dear Amy: In reply to “Loving But Sad Sister” whose brother omitted factual details in her father’s obituary – I suggest she write and publish her own!

As a librarian, I fulfilled many requests for newspaper obituaries. These obituaries are permanent and she should correct the records.

– Retired librarian

Dear librarian: Good advice.