Selena Gomez is baring it all in her upcoming documentary Selena Gomez: My mind and I Premiered November 4th on Apple+. While Gomez is “really proud” to share such an intimate look at her struggles, she shared vulture that the replay of some of the difficult moments – particularly a scene where she talked about her body – was “shocking and upsetting”.
“The things I’ve seen from 2016, 2017, 2018 – I can’t believe I was that girl. This breaks my heart. I’m grateful to be on the other side, but for example when I saw the first part of the film where I talk about my body…” she said.
She got emotional and told the interviewer that she was “completely upset with myself” as she revisited how she was treating and thinking about her body. “I couldn’t believe what I wanted to be. Which really isn’t possible unless you have a lot of money and are willing to spend it to do this to yourself,” she said. “It really broke my heart. That’s not the feeling I want to give anyone. I hope I don’t. So it was a little bit shocking and disturbing.”
Gomez reflected on the insecurity she felt at the time and shared it in a video she shot with in 2021 Fashion that it took time to come to terms with how her body had evolved as she matured. She even recalled the 2015 Met Gala as a memorable moment in the process.
“My weight fluctuates a lot and I remember that night in particular. I wasn’t comfortable in my body. What was really amazing is that I actually got the chance to work on the dress that fit my body,” she said in the video. “I had such a lovely time shaping this dress. I think we got together and built something really beautiful and that suited me really well. That was one of those moments when I thought, I don’t have to be 19 like that. year-old body shape anymore because I’m not.”
She has also spoken more publicly and positively about her body given the body shaming she has faced throughout her career. In June she told Glamor Britain“It’s hard to feel comfortable when you feel like everyone is watching, judging and commenting on how you look. Confidence is still something I work on every day, but once I stopped trying to conform to society’s unrealistic standards of beauty, my perspective completely changed.”
Though her relationship with her body has continued to evolve, Gomez shared vulture that it was difficult to see her younger self in a negative headspace. She also worries about the message she might send to viewers.
“It’s not the feeling I want anyone to feel. I hope I don’t,” she said. “So it was a little bit shocking and disturbing to see.”
However, with the film’s release days away, Gomez is more confident in his purpose of showing people all she went through to be where she is today. “I think it’s about discovering myself in my 20s; I had to do it in front of people and I don’t know anything else. I think that Selena — and I hate talking about myself in the third person, I’m so sorry — doesn’t reflect where I am now,” she explained. “I don’t want people to think that I’m going to live in this sad girly world forever. Because that’s not true.”
And while the process has been difficult, she’s already seen some of the impact her story can have on other people.
“I’ve had so many moments with people, really real moments, women in their 40s telling me about their divorce or something they’re going through. I can’t help but just love people for who they are when it’s frustrating and maybe even when I shouldn’t. I believe in people,” she shared. “I ended up sacrificing my story — which I don’t mind, it’s just a little weird — I hope it has a greater purpose and can continue as a conversation for people.”
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