Riverdale’s season 6 finale made the show even more insane

If you saw last night Riverdale Season 6 finale, I assume you’re still reeling from that insanity that just went down. If not, here’s what happened on the show that makes it Gotham look like low-key, down-to-earth drama.

Trying to explain everything that happened Riverdale This season is an impossible feat, but to sum it up: Hiram Lodge tried to blow up Archie with a bomb, which somehow gave the main cast instead a variety of superpowers and allowed a dark wizard named Percival Pickens to come to the city from another dimension. Also, Cheryl Blossom became a witch (unrelated). Archie and the gang managed to murder Percival before he could take over the city – both time travel and Satan were involved – but Not before he could redirect Bailey’s Comet (no typo) to head straight for Riverdale. That is a lot ofand I’ve barely scratched the surface of what happened in season six, and I’m not even going to get into how the spear that pierced the side of Jesus when he was on the cross ended up in a pawn shop in Riverdale.

So here begins The Night of the Comet, with the Riverdalians trapped in the city by Percival’s magic, remaining one day before the comet’s impact. Luckily, Veronica has a hell of an idea: to use her poison powers to somehow suck Archie’s invulnerability, Betty’s ability to see evil auras, Jughead’s telepathy, and Tabitha’s ability to time travel into herself, and then pass them on to Cheryl in a kiss. This works, as we find out when Veronica shoots Cheryl out of the goddamn nowhere and the bullet fails to pierce her skin.

The hope is that Cheryl will be able to harness the energy of these superpowers to power her phoenix fire magic – she has phoenix fire magic, by the way, and dresses like Famke Janssen’s Jean Grey X Men: The Last Stand to prove it – melting the comet before it hits without robbing her of the strength she needs to keep alive all the dead she’s revived. This works, but it also has a very weird side effect, because suddenly it’s 1955 and Archie and the gang are back in high school and everything seems happy and innocent and pure and Jughead is wearing his real hat from the comics that looks completely bananas in real life (and seen above). Basically, Riverdale has rebooted itself to be a show about the current classic Archie Comics for the seventh and final season and only Jughead remembers what the past/future was like.

This being Riverdale, I’m sure things will get dark and twisted sooner rather than later, but I’m honestly excited for the show’s writers’ ability to keep surpassing themselves when it comes to insanity. I’d say the show started off in season two when Betty’s father was revealed to be a serial killer and Archie formed a squad of masked vigilantes and then flew so far off the rails that when superpowers introduced the rails were completely out of sight, but that.. . this is like Riverdale returned to the rails, only to smash through them and shatter into a million pieces, each shaped like a fart hat.

What on earth will season seven look like? Will Mark Consuelos return as Veronica’s father Hiram? Won’t Betty’s father have been a serial killer? Will Cheryl’s famously dead twin brother Jason be alive? Will Riverdale even bother going back to his “normal” timeline before the series finale? We’ll have to wait until the show returns in 2023 to find out. Until then, I’m staring at the above photo of Jughead.

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