Everyone who knew her said that Cheslie Kryst was radiant. She certainly looked like she had it all: a signature mane of long curly hair, long legs that looked stunning in gorgeous pant suits, and a megawatt smile.
Her beauty was recognized when she became the winner of the 2017 Miss North Carolina USA pageant and the winner of the 2019 Miss USA pageant. But there was more: She was a high school track and field athlete, an attorney with a Masters of Business Administration, and an Emmy-nominated correspondent for the television show Extra.
So her death by suicide earlier this year in Manhattan at the age of 30 was met with disbelief.
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“It was just so, so shocking, and it was sad. And still sad,” said Nate Burleson, the former pro soccer player and current CBS Mornings co-host who worked with Kryst.
After police announced that Kryst had jumped to her death from the Manhattan apartment building where she lived, headlines focused on the inappropriateness of the suicide of someone so colorful and successful.
But suicide doesn’t just affect those whose struggles are apparent, and some researchers on the issue say her death may have symbolized a worrying rise in suicide rates among young black people. In an interview, her mother said that although Kryst added successes, she had suffered from depression for years.
Angela Massey, a mental health consultant in New York who hasn’t treated Kryst but works with the black community, said black women often have a desire to believe “that myth or that narrative of this strong black woman.” which can be harmful, especially if a person thinks that “if I have to ask for help with what I’m dealing with, other people might see me as weak.”
Cheslie Kryst was the second of four children born to April and Rodney Kryst. Her mother was musical; Her father was an athlete and bodybuilder.
After her parents divorced, her mother married David Simpkins and they had two boys.
All six children were close, and the first four wore matching gold bracelets to symbolize their bond. They cheered each other on at athletics and soccer games.
When Kryst was a kid, April Simpkins heard about a beauty pageant on the radio. The winner gets $10,000 and a car. “I thought, you know what, I’ll try,” Simpkins said.
She became Miss Petite America. Then Mrs. North Carolina – with Kryst watching in the audience.
In her role as Mrs. North Carolina, Simpkins brought Kryst to lectures, which Kryst enjoyed. “It was like my mom is a speaker, but she’s also allowed to dress in glamorous clothes.”
At school, Kryst was academically gifted and athletic: captain of the cheer squad, captain of the track and field team, co-president of the Beta Club. During her senior year, she entered her first pageant and was crowned Miss Fort Mill High.
She attended Honors College at the University of South Carolina and enrolled in a graduate program at Wake Forest University, where she earned a dual degree in law and business administration.
But even as her mental health began to deteriorate during law school, Kryst tried pageants again as the prize packages included scholarship funding. She hoped to use the profits to fund her dual studies and competed for the title of Miss North Carolina USA in 2017 and 2018.
While she was in the law program, Kryst attempted suicide, her mother said. After that, mother and daughter began to call each other several times a day.
“We talked about everything,” Simpkins said. “We spoke about her mental state and mental health,” and how Kryst slept and ate. Kryst also started seeing a counselor. Simpkins describes Kryst’s condition as high-functioning depression.
The term is not a clinical diagnosis. In order for an illness to be considered mental illness, according to the DSM – diagnostics and medicine – according to Dr. Christin Drake, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at NYU Grossman School of Medicine, occupational or other important function impairs his Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders handbook used by health care professionals to diagnose mental disorders.
Drake noted that what is helpful about the term – high-functioning depression – is that it emphasizes “that a person can experience significant stress and significant symptoms of major depression without this being felt by those around them, even those with whom they associate is, obviously is are very close.”
Kryst became a lawyer specializing in civil litigation, but she also worked pro bono for the Buried Alive Project, which seeks redress for those wrongly convicted. She assisted a North Carolina man who had served more than 18 years in prison to obtain a reduced sentence through the courts.
Kryst was clearly functioning professionally—perhaps above average—but she was still suffering.
“It’s important to remember that how someone performs in public or in their professional life doesn’t reflect their entire functioning,” said Drake, who didn’t treat Kryst but specializes in women’s mental health.
In 2019, Kryst won the Miss North Carolina USA pageant and represented the state in the Miss USA 2019 pageant — and won that too. She was 28 years old, making her the oldest woman to be crowned Miss USA.
Crystle Stewart, President of the Miss USA Organization, recalls being at the polls when Kryst won. “The first thing I thought about her was that she was strong — mentally and physically.”
Stewart noted that people often don’t realize that Miss USA is a real job, with a salary, requirements, and responsibilities, including appearances, engagements, and hours and hours of charity work.
“It looks, you know, glamorous and fun, which it is. But there is a job. Some days they work long hours,” Stewart said. “You travel a lot.”
During her tenure as Miss USA, Kryst took a sabbatical from the law firm that employed her. Later that year she was offered a job as a correspondent for TV entertainment news show Extra and moved to New York.
At work, on air or off, Burleson said Kryst was “really like a shining light in every room.” He never saw any signs that she was depressed: “There wasn’t a moment I could point to,” he said, “which makes it even more confusing and difficult to deal with.”
Drake said that many Black women in the United States need to “develop highly effective coping mechanisms against adversity,” and mentioned a variety of psychological beatings: “microaggression, generational trauma, limited opportunity, economic, occupational, constant threat.”
Last year, Kryst wrote an article for Allure magazine called “A Pageant Queen Reflects on Turning 30.” She wrote that speaking out against injustice is worth waking up to every morning. But she also hinted at a certain sadness.
“Every time I say ‘I’m turning 30,’ I cringe a little,” she wrote. “Sometimes I can successfully mask this uncomfortable reaction with excitement; sometimes my enthusiasm feels hollow, like bad acting. Society has never been kind to those who grow old, especially women.” She continued:
I discovered that the most important question in the world, especially when asked repeatedly and answered openly, is:
why?
Why earn more achievements just to rack up another win? Why pursue another plaque or medal or another entry on my resume when it’s for vanity and not passion? Why work so hard to hold on to the dreams society taught me when all I can continue to find is emptiness?
She did not live to see her 31st birthday.
“Look at how many people she has impacted and impacted in the short time she has been on this earth,” Burleson said. “A lot of people saw her on TV or followed her on social media and they felt like family to her. It allowed her to achieve so much in a short amount of time, which is just a testament to who she was.”
As her mother Simpkins put it, “I could write a book of all the awards and accolades she has received, but it’s not going to change a mental illness. The cure for this mental illness isn’t staring at a wall of awards and degrees.”
dr Katherine Keyes, a professor of epidemiology at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health, pointed out that the country has restricted access to mental health and care, which is affecting black people and mental health. “That will disproportionately affect people who are already disenfranchised,” she said, “and have a lot of medical suspicion.”
Keyes also said that suicidal thoughts are not a condition that people have to suffer from. “And the solution isn’t to end your life,” he said. “It’s really important to tell someone – because you can recover from that.”
When asked how he will remember his girlfriend, Burleson said, “She was an amazing, amazing woman.”
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If you are having suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for a list of additional resources.
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