‘I’m a shadow of myself’: Woman says former Stampeder’s secret sex tape shocked her

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The act of former Calgary Stampeder Jerome Messam, who secretly chronicled their sexual tryst, will forever affect his victim, she said Friday outside a city courtroom.

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The woman, who cannot be identified, issued a lengthy victim statement about how her life was shattered by the former All-Star running back’s criminal behavior.

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“The long-term effects of what Mr. Messam did are an integral part of my life,” the woman said at a hearing in the Calgary Court of King’s Bench.

Although he was expected to appear in person for his sentencing, Messam, 37, was allowed to follow the trial remotely from Ontario.

And after Crown Prosecutor Janice Walsh raised concerns from the victim that Messam might block her words, Justice April Grosse warned him to be vigilant.

“It is certainly my expectation, Mr. Messam, that you will listen to this,” Grosse said before the woman stepped onto the courtroom podium.

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“Yes ma’am,” Messam replied.

Messam pleaded guilty to voyeurism in January for videotaping a consensual sexual tryst with the woman at his Calgary home on November 11, 2016.

The victim told Grosse she is not the person she was before Messam violated her sexual integrity by recording their sexual encounter.

“So when people tell me I don’t look like myself anymore, of course I don’t. The person they are referring to had no reason to live in fear, to be constantly angry, to feel like they had no autonomy,” she said.

“Whoever I am now can no longer relate to the carefree person I was before this happened.”

The woman often suppressed her emotions and said she had to leave Calgary to try to put the incident behind her after struggling through her final semester of post-secondary education.

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But she said she hasn’t been able to take the time to recover from the emotional trauma Messam inflicted on her.

“Time doesn’t stand still for anyone, and I don’t have the luxury of taking time off from everything I do,” she said.

“I am a shell of myself.”

At the time of Messam’s guilty plea, Crown Prosecutor Janice Walsh read out a statement of agreed facts detailing his crime.

According to that I Agree Facts, Messam sent the woman”four sexually explicit video clips‘ via Snapchat, a messaging service that deletes texts in 10 seconds.

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“Accompanying the video clips was a sexually explicit message from the accused,‘ said the prosecutor.

“Each of the sexually explicit video clips lasted 10 seconds and were permanently deleted upon completion of playback. (The victim) recognized the transience of the video clips and used another electronic device to record one of the sexually explicit video clips before it was permanently deleted.‘ Walsh said.

According to that I Agree Facts, Messam never shared the clips with anyone and deleted them.

At sentencing, Walsh said that while she was not seeking jail time, the parole requested by defense attorney Daniel Nguyen was unreasonable, which would spare Messam a criminal record.

She said Messam’s behavior violated the victim’s physical integrity.

“Mr. Messam … decided to take something away from the victim, something that cannot be fully replaced,” she said.

The hearing is expected to continue on November 10th.

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